Etiquette Ladies Online

Company Party

2010-09-14T10:08:00.000-07:00

Company Party

Could you be nominated to the Holiday Party Hall of Shame this holiday season? In the spirit of seasonal abandon, and fueled by one too many drinks, men and women often place themselves in compromising positions. Some may raise eyebrows by crossing the boundaries of friendship with inappropriate flirting, soul bearing, or relatively innocuous laughing too loudly or too often. Others may view the company hosted party as the opportunity to show case seductive attire, outlandish dancing style, or record setting trips to the buffet. Unfortunately the next morning in the cold hard light of the office these seemingly harmless adventures and inappropriate behaviors have lost their charm. Professional careers can be tarnished or seriously harmed, and in worst case scenarios individuals are dismissed and remembered forever in office legend. Have fun, but be on your best behaviour.

Schmooze you Lose

2010-08-19T14:32:00.000-07:00

Schmooze you Lose

You are invited to a networking event, sometimes more aptly named a “Schmooze Fest.” You were told you should aim for at least 25 new business cards per evening. It’s like speed dating, only as a result of this hand-shaking-eye-contacting-card-passing-feeding frenzy, you will have 25 more new contacts. If more contacts means more business your business is sure to grow in leaps and bounds if you keep this up. Right?

Not quite! Networking is not about papering the city with your business cards. Networking is about relationships; developing, maintaining and nurturing relationships and it accounts for approximately 87% of business in the market place today. A handshake, even a good one, eye contact and a thirty-second elevator speech about what YOU do is not likely to get you there. However, quality conversations allow you to get to know more about the other person and build trust and rapport. Trust is the glue that keeps networks together. Without trust, business rarely happens because people want to do business with those they know, like and trust. Ultimately, it is not just who you know, it’s who knows you and what they know about you. What reputation you have earned. Think of networking as farming, not hunting. You plant the seed and then nurture it, work at it, cultivate it and watch it grow. Aim for three or four new contacts. Whew!

HUGS OR HIGH FIVES?

2010-08-13T13:29:00.000-07:00

HUGS OR HIGH FIVES?

Hugs, kisses, high fives or handshakes? What is the appropriate greeting? As we’ve grown accustomed to mixing business and pleasure, many of us don’t realize that there are actually guidelines for greetings. Sincerity is key and you shouldn’t have to put a lot of thought into a gesture that is simple and spontaneous. Use your common sense and follow these tips:

1. Hugs are not appropriate in a business situation. Have you ever entered a meeting room and felt uncomfortable when someone else is embracing? Where do you look? Are you supposed to join in? Will there be a group hug? However, if your million-dollar client wants to give you a quick hug who are we to judge you?

2. In social settings, if you have any doubt in your mind, do not hug. If you have to think about it first, a hug is probably not heart felt or sincere. A warm smile and an "I am so glad to see you" with a firm hand shake fills in for a hug and makes all of us feel warm and welcome.

3. If you feel you need to hug, do it, but keep in mind the wants, needs and comfort of the person you are hugging. Stepping back is a clue the person doesn’t want a body embrace but leaning forward will indicate that they are coming into your space to accept or initiate a hug.

4. If you sincerely feel the urge to hug and in return get a chilly response it’s not the end of the world, move away, smile and start a conversation.

5. Keep in mind, refusing a handshake is rude. There are probably more germs on the door knob so if you are afraid of germs, retire and wash your hands after shaking.

New Moms

2010-08-10T12:47:00.000-07:00

New Moms

Although most people are pretty forgiving when it comes to any situation involving babies, the number one etiquette mistake that new moms make has to be those descriptive birthing and labor stories …water breaking, contractions, dilation's, crowning, stitches, sitz baths… fall into the category of “too much information, thanks.” Some new moms are prone to tell everyone the details, from the bus driver to colleagues at work to strangers in the checkout.

Another mistake parents make is in thinking the baby is as entertaining to everyone else as it is to you. The new parents bring the baby to a party and expect everyone to sit around and discuss every gurgle and coo the baby makes, how smart and cute it is who the baby looks like and what it is going to be when it grows up. Unless you are the grandparents or a close relative, recognize most people aren’t as interested as you are

Returning Gifts

2010-07-28T13:20:00.000-07:00

Returning Gifts

If a bride receives two of the same gift she can easily return one of the gifts. She need not mention to the gift giver that she has returned their gift. If a gift is a one of a kind item, a family heirloom or something hand made by the giver, even if a bride dislikes the gift, she should keep it and cherish the thought that went into it. Always consider the feelings of the gift giver. An unsightly one of a kind item kept and stored in the basement should be put on display if the giver ever happens to visit. Sometimes those unsightly, out of fashion gifts come back into fashion too. Out of consideration for the gift giver it is sometimes wise to hang onto a gift and save it for the Antiques Roadshow or a garage sale sometime in the future. Any thoughts of returning gifts should be coupled with diplomacy. Say nothing.

Engagement and Shower Gifts

2010-07-27T12:49:00.000-07:00

Engagement and Shower Gifts

If there is a small informal engagement party with close friends and family, gifts are optional. Usually only close relatives or friends would bring a gift just for the bride to the party. The bride would only open the gifts at the party if everyone brought one.
At a large formal engagement party gifts are not expected. If a guest does bring a gift, it would not be opened during the party to avoid embarrassing the others who correctly did not bring a gift.
To prevent overburdening her friends, a bride should consider having no more than two showers. Brides should remember that the more showers your friends have to buy gifts for, the less funds they have available for the main wedding gift.

Shy Mind Reading

2010-07-26T12:59:00.000-07:00

Shy Mind Reading

A person who lacks confidence often makes assumptions about what he thinks others may be thinking about him. “They won’t like me” or “I don’t think they want to talk to me.” If you are this person, the first question you should ask yourself is, “How did I get to be a mind reader, how do I know what someone is thinking?” There could be many reasons why a person behaves in a certain way. The only way to really verify what someone is thinking is to ask them, so stop negative mind reading at once. If you are going to mind read you might as well replace it with positive mind reading. “They are really going to like me” or “I know they would really like to meet a fun interesting person like me.” Employing this tactic will help you rid yourself of the shyness and fear of rejection that accompanies negative mind reading and make it easier for you to approach people and meet them.

How much should a guest spend on a wedding gift?

2010-07-23T12:22:00.000-07:00

How much should a guest spend on a wedding gift?

There is no set amount one should spend on a wedding gift. You spend on a gift what you can afford to spend. No one should be expected to over-spend on a wedding gift no matter how close they are to the couple. You can express your heart-felt wishes for a happy life together in a hand written note accompanying the gift.
As with choosing any gift there are a number of considerations; your relationship with the bride and groom, how long and how well you know them, your own financial means and how much help they need in furnishing their household. The latter will be particularly relevant if the couple has been living together for some time or have been previously married. If you are a very close friend or relative you would probably spend more on a gift than another person who has known the couple only a short time, but it is still dependant on your financial situation.
As much as “it’s the thought that counts” seems to have been replaced by the “how big and how much?”, it is important to remember that this special day is to celebrate the union and future life together of the happy couple, not about how much the couple can collect in wedding gifts. The gift is an expression of a guest’s wish for the couple’s future happiness and to help them get started in their life together

The Perfect Wedding

2010-07-22T13:23:00.000-07:00

The Perfect Wedding

Weddings today can be complicated affairs. Changes in society, from a more culturally diverse population to the redefinition of the family have revolutionized weddings, giving rise to more informal ceremonies, a revival of ethnic customs, more active role for the groom and more adventurous and imaginative wedding festivities.

What is the one word we most often hear in conjunction with the word wedding? The word is perfect. The perfect wedding!

And just what is the perfect wedding? Is it four or six bridesmaids, yards of white tulle and red roses, is it standing barefoot on the beach in the Bahamas exchanging vows under a setting tropical sun, or a backyard BBQ with family and friends?

The fact is the perfect wedding is a wedding that reflects who you are, where you have been and the direction you intend to go.

A perfect wedding is one that feels right for you and your partner. Whether it is a large lavish affair or just a few friends gathered having a picnic in the park, it should be fun.

Wedding Etiquette

2010-07-21T13:32:00.000-07:00

Wedding Etiquette

Times have changed and many of the old rules of wedding etiquette simply don’t apply any more. The most important thing to remember it that etiquette is first and foremost about making people feel comfortable. If you have a “situation” or a “question” about what is appropriate, ask yourself “What would make my guests feel most comfortable?” When planning your wedding keep in mind the following:

• Ensure everyone including your wedding party, your family and your guests are treated with courtesy.
• Be considerate and make decisions based on maintaining the important relationships in your lives.
• Think about the kind of occasion that you, your friends and family will feel comfortable with.
• Forgo a tradition if it is likely to cause a falling-out or include one if it important to someone you car about.
• Be tactful and sensitive when considering step parents and extended family members.
• Be considerate of the needs of elderly or infirm guests and children if they are included.
• Anticipate potential problems in advance if they could lead to difficulties.

The Perfect Apology

2010-07-20T13:05:00.000-07:00

The Perfect Apology

You had good intentions, but somehow things got out of hand. Maybe you just had to say something. Now you now regret it, big time.

What should you do? An apology signals others that we have the strength of character to reconcile ourselves with the truth. It is the most courageous gesture we can make to ourselves.

• Leave out the “ifs or buts.” “If” reduces the effectiveness of an apology. “If I offended you, I am sorry. This says the offence may not have happened. Adding “but” is just as bad: “I am sorry, but you started it.” Say, “I offended you and I’m sorry.”
• Use the active voice, not passive. The passive voice is a way of avoiding responsibility. The apology comes out as “Mistakes were made.” It’s like someone else may have made them.
• Don’t assume. Don’t be arrogant enough to presume you know how they feel. Don’t say, “I know how you feel.” say, “I can’t imagine how you are feeling.”
• Don’t say “What can I do to make it right?” An apology is more effective if it includes your plan for restitution.
• Begin with I. Accept personal responsibility so rather than saying, “You have said things and I have said things,” say, “I apologize and I am sorry.”
• Use the victim’s name. Using it in your apology reinforces the mission, which is to repair the relationship.
• Don’t Ramble. Rambling usually ends in excuses.
• Don’t Argue. Listen. The purpose of an apology is not to change someone’s point of view.

Vacations from Work

2010-07-19T12:56:00.000-07:00

Vacations from Work

To truly enjoy your vacation time, leave everything work-related behind. But before you go, here are some details to remember before taking time off:
• If you are required to get vacation approval from your boss, submit your request in writing at least a month before you leave.
• Once your dates are approved, send a memo to co-workers and important clients telling them the dates you will be away. Tell your boss how and where you can be reached in case of emergency.
• Change your voice mail and set up an automatic e-mail response stating the dates that you will be out of the office and the date you will be returning. Also mention who to contact in your absence.
• If you have an administrative assistant, business partner, or someone designated to cover for you, brief them on your latest projects at least a week before you go. Inform co-workers and clients who will be handling your work while you're away.
• Try not to schedule big meetings or appointments the day of your return. You will need a transition day to respond to e-mails, open regular mail, and return phone calls.

Whujasay? Kumera minut!

2010-07-16T16:23:00.000-07:00

Whujasay? Kumera minut!

The way you talk gives listeners an impression of you that can as revealing as a photo. It indicates whether you are confident, kind, cheerful, sensitive, bored, energetic…or even lazy. It may indicate your educational, financial, social status and background as well. Is the impression your voice gives others the one you wish to give?
1. Concentrate on correcting your enunciation of one troublesome word at a time and gradually you will acquire a new speech habit. One of the most common troublesome words is “you.” It is pronounced incorrectly as “Jew, chew, yuh, and ya to name a few. Enunciate clearly and distinctly: Don’t you, did you, won’t you, could you, would you, can’t you, told you, heard you, missed you.
2. Control your breathing and use your tongue and lips to form words distinctly. Speak more slowly to gain control.
3. Put some enthusiasm and vitality into your voice and use vocal variety (highs, lows, soft and loud) to sound more interesting.
4. Repeat what you wish to learn until it becomes a habit.

Golf Etiquette Do’s and Don’ts

2010-07-15T13:52:00.000-07:00

Golf Etiquette Do’s and Don’ts

Call for a “tee” time. Check in ten minutes early and be ready to play.
• Do your stretching and practice swings before you get to the first tee.
• When it’s your turn, take only one practice swing.
• If men and women tee off at the same distance, either may start first.
• After the first hole, the person with the lowest score tees off first.
• Move quickly to the next tee and mark your scores from the last hole there.
• If the group behind you has fewer players and there is space ahead of you, let them play through.
• Be ready to play as soon as the group in front of you is safely out of range.
• When someone is swinging stay still, don’t speak and stand to the side and behind the flight line of the ball.
• Yell “fore” if you think a ball may hit someone.
• If you are riding on the cart path when someone is about to take a swing, stop the cart and wait until they are finished.
• Volunteer to find a lost ball. After five minutes let the group behind you play though.

Private Club Etiquette

2010-07-14T13:40:00.000-07:00

Private Club Etiquette

Invited to a private club? Enjoy the opportunity and follow these guidelines:
• Be on your best behavior. Your actions reflect on you, your company and your host. If you are rude or misbehave in anyway, not only will your host be embarrassed, he may have to account for it.
• Don’t quiz your host about membership dues or other members.
• Don’t ask someone you don’t know well to sponsor you.
• Dress appropriately. If you don’t know the dress code, call the club’s office and find out.
• On arrival give your name and the name of the member who invited you.
• Don’t order anything or wander around the club before your host arrives.
• Don’t discuss business or use your cell phone in the public areas of the club.
• Don’t tip anyone until you ask your host about the club’s policy.
• Don’t offer to pay. Your host signs a tab and is billed at the end of the month. Reciprocate the hospitality in some other way.
• Send a hand written thank you note to your host.

Sailing Etiquette

2010-07-13T13:22:00.000-07:00

Sailing Etiquette

In sailing, the pleasure is in the journey and unless you are in a race, getting to the destination in the shortest possible time is not the objective. Enjoy the sun on your face, swish of the waves, the thrill of moving along with just the wind in the sails and follow these tips:
• Ask the captain where he would like you to sit and what you can do to help.
• Always follow the captains’ orders. When the captain gives a command he expects you to carry out his wishes without asking a lot of questions.
• The most important item of sailing apparel is your shoes. Wear deck shoes or simple tennis shoes and bring a waterproof windbreaker, bathing suit, sunglasses and a hat.
• If you think you might be sea sick take medication, stay on deck and focus on the horizon.
• If there is no ‘head’ on board use the rest room before you leave shore.

Exercise Your Etiquette Too

2010-07-12T13:40:00.001-07:00

Exercise Your Etiquette Too

Membership in a fitness club brings entitlement but you aren’t entitled to be inconsiderate, rude, disrespect other members or leave your stuff lying all over the place. As a member you need to exercise your good manners too.

• Dress appropriately; according to the club’s guidelines.
• Don’t wear street shoes to workout.
• Follow the club’s time lines for equipment.
• If you schedule time with an instructor, be on time.
• Wipe off equipment after use or use a towel to prevent skin-to-vinyl contact.
• Keep personal items in your locker and off the workout floor.
• Leave your cell phone turned off in your locker or in your car.
• Clean up after yourself; put towels in the laundry receptacle, remove personal toiletries and rinse out the sink.
• Complete bodily functions in the appropriate place.
• Return weights and other equipment to the racks.
• Respect other members’ privacy, time and personal boundaries.

Respecting Colleagues Privacy

2010-07-09T13:34:00.000-07:00

Respecting Colleagues Privacy

Cubicle walls rarely reach more than five or six feet high so sound travels easily over the top. If someone in a cubicle near you asks his or her neighbor a question, resist the urge to call out the answer. Use selective hearing to tune people out so you are not listening if you haven’t been invited to participate in the conversation. Eavesdropping is a two-way street. Your co-workers are less likely to listen to your conversations if they know you respect their privacy and don’t listen to theirs.

Don’t assume a colleague isn’t busy just because they’re not on the phone or typing on their computer. They may be thinking about solutions to a problem or engaging in creative thought. Thinking is a necessary part of the work environment. If your colleague is not acknowledging your presence, he likely does not want to be interrupted.

Do not interrupt two co-workers who are engaged in a conversation. Do not interrupt if someone is writing, reading email, typing or deep in thought. Walk away and wait for a better time. Set appointments with your cubicle neighbors to ask questions or discuss ideas. This shows them that you honor their time and workload.

Office Supplies and Equipment

2010-07-08T12:25:00.000-07:00

Office Supplies and Equipment

Just because you view staplers, tape, scissors and pens as company property, you do not have the right to walk into your colleagues cubicle and help yourself. A good rule of thumb to follow is: don’t borrow from your neighbors without asking first. Then return it as quickly as possible.

If you need supplies, get them from the storeroom. Keep yourself organized and you’ll be able to keep track of what you require and what you have already.

It goes without saying that company supplies are for your use at work and not to supply your entire family. Removing items from the office for your personal use at home is stealing even though the dollar value may not be entirely significant.

Equipment in the office is for the use of many so treat is with respect and don’t take advantage by making multiple copies of your resume. If you are using the copy machine or other equipment and it jams or runs out of paper, take care of it or call for service. Don’t just leave it for the next person.

Office Courtesies

2010-07-07T13:48:00.000-07:00

Office Courtesies

Civility and simple courteous phrases are often lacking in the workplace. Remember to say, “Good morning,” “Please,” “Thank you,” “May I” and “Excuse me.” A cheerful “Good morning Bob” or “How are you today Mrs. Higgins?” can make a difference in to someone’s whole day.

Multi-tasking can be interpreted as bad manners. You can’t be attentive to another person when you’re reading your email or working on paperwork. When holding a meeting in your office, give your visitor your full attention and hold your phone calls. Go back to the manners you learned in kindergarten and start applying them in the workplace.
Try to solve problems with co-workers, such as personality conflicts and minor irritations, at the lowest possible level. Don’t take every little problem to the supervisor. State objections calmly and deal with differences tactfully as adults.

Don’t Be a Martyr

2010-07-06T13:31:00.000-07:00

Don’t Be a Martyr

Health problems in the workplace can occur from sitting too long in the same position or straining your neck by looking over your shoulder instead of turning your whole chair around to talk with someone. Get up and move around. Try to walk outside at least 10 minutes each day.

If you are ill, stay home and suffer in private. No one appreciates martyrs in the workplace. Your co-workers don’t want to be exposed, nor do they want to take your cold or flu home to their family. The first few days of an illness are when a disease is most contagious. Don’t come to work if you have a fever are throwing up, fainting or coughing.

If you feel well enough to get some work done, arrange with your boss to work at home until you’re well. Keep in mind that most businesses use heating and air conditioning systems that continually re-circulate the germs throughout the building. You could be infecting employees in the rest of the building.

Cell Phones at the Office

2010-07-02T12:36:00.000-07:00

Cell Phones at the Office

Don’t leave your cell phone in your cubicle when you are away from your desk. On the one hand, you may forget to turn it off and it will annoy your neighbors. On the other hand, it’s a valuable piece of equipment that contains private information and can be easily lifted by people who are not trustworthy.

Turn off your cell phone and pager when you are in your cubicle. If you must leave them on, keep the ring volume low or set it on vibrate mode. If you need to make personal calls on your cell phone, conduct your business away from others during your breaks.

Be mindful of your professional presence and the impression you make on others when selecting your ring tone. If it is showcasing your wild or dark side, is silly or is just plain annoying, make another choice on the conservative side.

No one doubts the fun of a new phone with all the apps available. If you are seen playing endlessly with your phone others may think you have too much time on your hands or are short of work to do.

Holding Cutlery Correctly

2010-07-01T12:45:00.001-07:00

Holding Cutlery Correctly

Pick up your knife with your right hand and fork with your left hand. Place the knife and fork diagonally in the palms of your hands resting on your index fingers. Secure with your thumb and curl your fingers around the handles. Turn over the cutlery, resting index fingers about 1 inch down on the fork and knife handles so you can apply pressure if you need to. The handles of the cutlery are under your palms. If the handles are showing above your hands you are not holding your cutlery correctly!

Secure food with the fork tines down and put the knife blade above the fork to cut towards you in a smooth stroking motion. Don’t saw back and forth, use the leverage of your knife to apply pressure and stroke towards you

Beverage Glasses

2010-06-30T12:50:00.000-07:00

Beverage Glasses

Place beverage glasses to the right side of the place setting in order of use starting with the sherry glass in the lower right side and above it the white wine glass, red wine, water and champagne glass. Sherry is served as an aperitif to stimulate the appetite, usually with the soup course when sherry is an ingredient in the soup. Serve white wine first in the smaller of the wine glasses. Serve red wine in a glass with a larger round bowl to allow the wine to breathe. Rules regarding pairing wines with food vary and are not based on col our or the food.
Champagne is served with dessert, used for toasting or served with an appetizer. The water glass remains on the table throughout the meal. Remove beverage glasses if a guest refuses the beverage or after they are used. To refuse a beverages simply make eye contact with your server, touch the rim of the glass with your finger and shake your head no thank you.

The Bread and Butter and Roll

2010-06-29T12:31:00.000-07:00

The Bread and Butter and Roll

The bread and butter plate is a six inch plate located in the upper left of your place setting. There is a small knife or butter spreader on it which you use to spread butter on your roll or bread.
Take a sufficient amount of butter from the butter dish using either a butter knife found on the butter dish or another clean knife and put it on your bread and butter plate. Keeping your roll on the plate, break off a bite sized piece, butter it using your butter spreader and then eat it a piece at a time.

You break, butter and bite so there aren’t unsightly bite or teeth marks on the uneaten portion. Don’t use the butter knife for spreading butter on your roll or you will put crumbs in the butter that everyone uses. Try not to butter your roll in mid air as inevitably you’ll get crumbs everywhere. Although it may be expedient, don’t cut your roll and make a butter sandwich with

Navigating a Place Setting

2010-06-28T12:44:00.000-07:00

Navigating a Place Setting

The place setting is like a road map to the meal. You can determine the number of courses you will be served by the cutlery at your place setting. The illustration of a six course formal place setting shows the forks on the left (Hint: the word left and fork have four letters) and the knives on the right (Hint: the word knife and right each have five letters.) Start from the outside of the place setting and work in towards the plate course by course. The fork and spoon at the top of the place setting above the plate is for dessert. If more than six courses are served, the cutlery will be brought with the dish. If you rest during a course, place your cutlery in the resting position on your plate rather than on the table – knife and fork in an inverted ”V” crossed at the tips. When you have finished a course, place your cutlery in the finished position – in a diagonal across your plate with the tips pointing to 10 o’clock handles at 4 0’clock.

2010-06-25T12:30:00.001-07:00

A Traveler’s Ten Commandments.

1.Don’t expect to find things as you would at home.
2.Don’t take things too seriously. A carefree mind is the beginning of a fine holiday.
3.Don’t let other tourists get on your nerves.
4.Take half the clothes you think you need and twice the money.
5.Guard your passport. A person without a passport is a person without a country.
6.Forget any notions of cultural superiority. Other cultures are not inferior, just different.
7.Avoid worrying about things unnecessarily - few things are ever fatal.
8.When in Rome, do somewhat as the Romans do.
9.Don’t judge the people of a country by the one person who hast given you trouble.
10.Remember, you’re a guest and by treating your host with respect you too are honoured.

Vacations from Work

2010-06-24T11:27:00.000-07:00

Why are 33% of us compelled to stay in contact with the office or take work with us while on vacation? To truly enjoy your vacation time, leave everything work-related behind and follow these tips;
• Submit your vacation request in writing at least a month before you leave.
• Inform co-workers and clients.
• Tell your boss where you can be reached in case of emergency.
• Change your voice mail and set up an automatic e-mail response stating your vacation dates and whom to contact in your absence.
• Brief your replacement on your latest projects at least a week before you go.
• Tell co-workers and clients who will be handling your work while you're away.
• Try not to schedule big meetings or appointments the day of your return
• Have fun.

Cruising Etiquette

2010-06-23T11:40:00.000-07:00

Cruising Etiquette.

A friend recently returned from a fabulous cruise. After witnessing the behavior of a few of the passengers, she suggested there is a need to restore some civility to the art of travel. Here are a few tips to keep in mind:
1. Have a positive attitude and don’t expect everything to be perfect.
2. Know your limits, especially when it comes to alcohol.
3. Don’t flash the cash, or anything else for that matter.
4. Be culturally aware.
5. Don’t be a whiner. If something goes wrong there is no need to drag everyone you meet into your misery.
6. Dress appropriately.
7. Be a respectful audience member. If you’ve just had a few too many and need a snooze, don’t sit in the front row.
8. Remember to be generous when it comes to tipping.

You’re Number 1 –winning an award

2010-06-22T11:56:00.000-07:00

You’re Number 1 –winning an award.

Congratulations, you are receiving an award at a special gala occasion. You can plan for this just like you plan for other special occasions including—what to wear, what to say and how to deal with nervousness.
Dealing with Nerves
Relax and every night for a week or two, visualize yourself looking great, walking on stage, shaking hands, smiling, accepting the award, making a short thank you speech, hearing applause and leaving the stage.
How to Dress
If you aren’t sure, check with those who are hosting the event. For a business event, err on the side of wearing something conservative and understated.
What to Say
Your speech should follow the 3 B’s: Begin, Be Brief, and Be Seated. Keep to the point. Express your gratitude in a normal way but don’t relive your whole career.

2010-06-21T10:40:00.000-07:00

Working from Home

Before you decide that working from home is the answer, ask yourself the following question: ARE YOU SURE? The sound of barking dogs and telemarketing calls have a way of making work seem more difficult than distractions at the office. Convince your boss that is it good for him. Stories about day care issues or your mother’s Alzheimer’s will make him think you are the problem. Tell him that peace and quiet is what you need to be more productive. Offer a trial period, during which you work from home one day a week. Consider it an audition and put everything into getting more done in that 8 hours than you have ever managed to before.
You will need to get off the couch and create a dedicated workspace. Dress appropriately don’t watch TV or procrastinate.

2010-06-18T10:38:00.000-07:00

Cell phone Etiquette

A recent survey found that 57% of people would rather visit the dentist than sit next to someone using a cell phone. However, it’s rude inconsiderate people that cause the problems, not cell phones. Keep these pointers in mind:

Think. Before making a call, consider whether it is an appropriate time and place. Avoid discussing private, emotional or confidential information in public.

Pay attention. Give 100% to the people you are with. Turn off your phone during meetings and quiet settings and let it go to voice mail.

Text off. Don’t text message while you are carrying on a face to face conversation with someone else.

Be upfront. When you’re in the company of others and expecting an important call, let them know beforehand then excuse yourself to take the call in private.

Gratitude

2010-06-17T10:55:00.000-07:00

When someone does something nice for us, we should acknowledge the benefit we received by expressing gratitude, thankfulness and appreciation. It is a positive emotion that benefits both the giver and receiver. Studies suggest that people who are more grateful have higher levels of well-being, are happier, less depressed, less stressed, are more satisfied with their lives and relationships and sleep better. Another study, showed restaurant patrons gave bigger tips when servers wrote “Thank you” on their checks.

“thx 4 gift I ♥ it”

2010-06-16T10:49:00.000-07:00

Is this text the thank you note of the future?

Sometimes as parents, we have become so used to the instant forms of communication we don’t even think of sending a hand written thank you note for a holiday party or gift, never mind prompting our children to do so. Generally, it doesn’t occur to children to write letters to grandmothers or thank you notes without encouragement from an adult.

However progressive we are, no amount of technology can ever replace the art of the hand written letter or card. It shows the person that you think enough of them to take the time to sit down and write. It’s important for children to develop this skill, not only to develop their writing skills, but to teach them to become courteous and gracious.

Family Flying

2010-06-15T10:36:00.000-07:00

Planning a family vacation? Before leaving, discuss your vacation with the kids and the behaviour you expect. Rather than be “corrected” when they have done something wrong, children prefer to know ahead of time.

Here are a few travel tips just for kids:

Pack a bag with some items to amuse yourself.
Be patient while waiting and sit quietly with your belongings at your feet.
Be careful not to jostle people with your baggage
Speak quietly and avoid making noise or laughing loudly.
Check behind you before adjusting your seat backwards.
Don’t kick the seat ahead of you or wander up and down the aisles.
Wait your turn for the bathroom and clean up after yourself.
Be considerate of airline personnel and thank them when you deplane

Don’t Burn the Bridge – Your Resignation Letter

2010-06-14T11:16:00.000-07:00

Chances are at some time in your life you are going to be fired from a job, unexpectedly outsourced or let go. Whatever you want to call it, it stinks. You feel undervalued, unappreciated and sometimes turning over a few desks on your way out may seem like a good idea. If you can restrain yourself, here are a few tips to ensure your resignation letter won’t come back to haunt you on your rise to bigger and better things.

Treat your letter of resignation as a formal piece of correspondence. It will be placed in your employee file so whatever you say is permanent and will be viewed by others. Keep it positive, check spelling and grammar use a formal salutation and never do write it in an e-mail.

Business Card Etiquette

2010-06-10T10:32:00.000-07:00

Your business card is a factor in someone’s first impression of you, so never present your card if it is soiled, torn, scribbled on or out of date. If it’s a mess, others think you or your work is probably a mess too. Keep them in a card case so they are in good condition. Present your card so the print faces the recipient. Use your card to represent you by enclosing it when forwarding materials. However, it is not appropriate to enclose a business card with correspondence that has personal or emotional content such as a note of condolence. Don’t take cards from a holder in someone’s office without asking first. Carry cards to a social event but don’t turn a garden party into a sales presentation. In a social situation, card exchange should be private.

Gift giving etiquette

2010-06-09T11:28:00.000-07:00

How much should you spend on a gift? Gifts should always be reflective of the level of the relationship you have with the person. You should never feel obligated to spend more than you can afford. Expensive gifts may send the wrong message and result in the receiver wondering, “What does this person want from me?” Alternatively, they may feel awkward and think they need to reciprocate.

Always make a distinction between personal and professional gifts. When sending a gift to a customer on behalf of the company, avoid gifts that look like a promotional item and choose gifts that are conservative and well made. Be cautious with humorous gifts unless you are well acquainted with the receiver and know he shares your sense of humor.

Dating tips

2010-06-08T11:31:00.000-07:00

Given the number of hours people devote to their careers it’s natural to look for dates or potential spouses at the office. It’s like having your dates pre-screened for you. If your company, who employs a high caliber of individual such as yourself, saw fit to hire this person, it’s a pretty good start. First check on the company policy on fraternizing. If you meet someone you are interested in, it is advisable to get to know the person on a professional basis first. Leave the romance out of working hours. Avoid having frequent lunches together, mushy scenarios and public displays of affection. Always be careful if the apple of your eye is of higher or lower rank than you are. Be discrete and if things don’t work out, maintain your professional presence and move on.

Desk Top Dining

2010-06-07T11:44:00.000-07:00

A common complaint in many workplaces the food odours and noise of people eating at their desk. Consider having lunch away from your desk. Studies have shown that eating your lunch away from your desk results in greater productivity.

According to a 2002 study conducted at the University of Arizona, the average desk has 400 times more bacteria than the average toilet seat! Crumbs can attract insects or rodents and spills could potentially be hazardous around computer equipment and keyboards or on original documents. Employees who eat at their desk are regarded as less professional by their coworkers even if they also eat at their desk. Chewing with an open mouth, scattering crumbs everywhere and inhaling one’s food are not the sign of a polished professional.

Become a manners ambassador

2010-06-04T11:39:00.000-07:00

Good manners are based on respect, kindness and consideration for others. Set the example for others by following the rules you learned in kindergarten. Use the “Magic Words” Please, Thank you, Pardon me, You’re Welcome, Excuse me and I’m sorry. Follow the Golden Rule” treat others as you would wish to be treated. If someone is rude to you, don’t perpetuate rudeness by being rude back. Take the high road and give others the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they have had an especially hard day, maybe they lost their job. Try to be patient and set an example by showing extra consideration and kindness.

Introductions

2010-06-03T11:24:00.000-07:00

The most important thing to remember about introductions is to MAKE THEM. If you are unsure of the “rules” or the proper order to introduce someone, don’t worry about it and do the best you can. It is far ruder not to make an introduction than it is to introduce people in the wrong order.

Say the most important person’s name first. A person is considered most important according to their rank, position, age (older people have greater authority) or by gender in social situations.

Introduce the person of lesser importance TO the person of greater importance. “Mr. Big, I would like to introduce (TO YOU) Mr. Small.”

Add some background information that opens the door to conversation. “Shelley, I would like you to meet my friend, Joan Finch. Joan is a teacher here.”

Handling Mistakes

2010-06-02T11:31:00.000-07:00

We have all made mistakes or have had embarrassing experiences at work. Often it comes down to poor communication or inadequate or unclear instructions. Whatever the cause, it is paramount to find a solution to a problem rather than fixing blame.
• Deal with mistakes in calm and professional manner.
• Avoid becoming emotionally involved in the situation.
• Accept responsibility for the problem.
• Listen and let the person vent.
• Be empathetic, relate to the person and apologize in a general way. “I understand your frustration.” “I am sorry about the confusion.”
• Work towards a solution.
• Tell the person what you can do to resolve the problem and propose an action plan.
• Under promise and over deliver, don’t over promise and under deliver.
• Follow up and learn from your mistakes.

Cultural manners

2010-06-01T08:45:00.001-07:00

Every day in our culturally diverse world, we interact with people who may be different from ourselves. They may speak different languages, have different cultural attitudes and historical backgrounds. Not only is it important to respect these differences, but take the opportunity to learn more about other cultures in order to facilitate communication and understanding. Be patient. Keep in mind the other person may translate what you say into his own language in order to understand it and then must translate his response from his language into English to reply. In conversation, avoid slang, acronyms, colloquial expressions and humour, which is often misunderstood. Show sensitivity, speak more slowly if necessary, and check for understanding. If the customer’s conversation is very formal or serious, follow that lead and match their behaviour.

Golf Etiquette

2010-05-27T08:23:00.000-07:00

Is golf just a game? Perhaps your company sponsors a golf day. It may seem like a great opportunity for you catch up on your paper work. But is it? Today a lot of business is conducted on the golf course. While you are cleaning up your inbox people are getting to know one another on a different level, ideas are exchanged, relationships are developed and decisions are made. You’re being left out. If you don’t know how to play, be honest about your ability and take lessons. Follow the rules and etiquette of the game. Players are expected to take care of the grounds and be attentive and courteous to other golfers. Familiarize yourself with the guidelines of the club, including the dress code and correct shoes. Win or lose, be a good sport.

Names

2010-05-26T11:23:00.000-07:00

What is the most important word in the English language? A person’s name. Everyone likes to hear their name spoken and it is respectful to use someone’s name and pronounce it correctly. Don’t give anyone a nick name unless it is what they are normally called. If you are uncertain about the pronunciation of someone’s name, ask them to repeat it. This shows respect and consideration. If it is especially difficult, request their business card. Conventional etiquette says you shouldn’t use a person’s first name until he asks you to do so. Depending on the situation, this can make you appear pretentious. If the person immediately calls you by your first name, then follow their lead. If the person is a senior executive, a public figure or elderly, stick with the honorific – Mr. Mrs. Ms.

Treat others with kindness

2010-05-25T10:42:00.000-07:00

Henry James said there are three things in life that are important. The first is to be kind, the second is to be kind and the third is to be kind. Recognize that there are distinct personality types and people work, act and communicate in different ways. Be prepared to adjust your communication style to work more effectively with others and built rapport and trust. Remember there can be more than one way to complete a task or reach a goal. Treat others with respect and consideration and remember the golden rule and treat others as you would like to be treated.

Respect the environment

2010-05-24T11:24:00.000-07:00

Having good manners means not only respecting others but respecting the environment as well. Treat any property, whether public or private, as if it was your own back yard. Put your own litter or garbage where it belongs according to the rules of recycling in your community. Avoid littering yourself, but also, as a good citizen, take the initiative to pick up trash wherever you see it. If you can, participate in community programs to clean up your neighborhood. Set a good example and encourage your children to respect the environment. Be informed on things are hazardous to the environment and begin a program to “Go Green.” The power of one can be powerful indeed

Respecting other people's property

2010-05-21T11:33:00.000-07:00

When it comes to other peoples’ property, the imperative word is respect. Although Shakespeare said, “Never a borrower or a lender be; for the loan oft loses both itself and friend,” if you do borrow something you show respect for the person by taking care of their property and returning it in the same condition you found it. Even though staplers, tape, scissors, pens and pencils may be company property, this does not give you the right to walk into a cubicle or office and lift these items off a co-worker’s desk. If you must borrow an item, always return it promptly. If you need supplies, get them from the storeroom or office services.

Tuned in or tuned out? iPod Etiquette

2010-05-20T11:19:00.000-07:00

Many young employees wouldn’t think of putting in a days work without tuning in to their iPod and MP3 for inspiration. But what kind of message are they sending. Are they saying, “ I am being productive and concentrating on my job” or does it say “ Don’t bother me?” Are they tuned in or tuned out? If you use your iPod at work, be sure your colleagues know that you are still approachable and it’s okay to interrupt or ask a question. Don’t play your music so loud others can hear it. When you are talking, remove the plugs from your ears so others know they have your full attention. Avoid the air guitar or drumming along. Let others know listening to music helps you be more productive.

New Job?

2010-05-19T11:20:00.000-07:00

How do you start a new job off right? After you are settled in, find a reliable buddy to help you with the little things that make the company run. Use a casual conversational style so that you are likeable not intrusive or annoying. Remember some of the people in your new department may have applied for the job you now have. Be sensitive if you ask questions about job descriptions as some people are reluctant to give too much information to a new recruit.
Some questions you might ask are:

“How can I work better with your group?”
“How do you prefer to work? Are you an e-mail person, phone person, or a face-to-face person?”
“Since I am a newcomer, is there anything I should know about before I start doing my job?”

Importance of eye contact

2010-05-18T11:07:00.000-07:00

Sometimes people have difficulty making eye contact. Eye contact is not only a very important part of the handshake and introduction, it is also important when you are having a conversation with someone. Eye contact tells the other person you are listening and makes him or her feel important. You appear to be a better listener and look more confident and in control. You should make eye contact 40% to 60% of the time during a conversation. Making eye contact less than 40% of the time, a person may be considered shy, shifty or lacking in confidence. If you make eye contact more than 60% of the time you could be thought of as critical or even aggressive.

Restaurant etiquette

2010-05-17T11:04:00.000-07:00

If you are planning to dine out - whether a large group or just two of you, call in advance to make a reservation. By making a reservation, you avoid long waits, which can be even more awkward if there is a large group of hungry people with low blood sugar. Treat service staff with respect and always leave a tip. If the service is less then expected, you may leave a smaller tip, but never leave no tip. Discuss any problems with service with the maitre d’ or manager.

Party Etiquette

2010-05-14T11:14:00.000-07:00

When attending a party, don’t not wait for the host/hostess to introduce you to other guests. It is a guest’s duty to introduce himself and mingle with other guests. Be charming and engage others in conversation.At a cocktail party or networking event, carry your food and/or beverage in your left hand so your right hand is free for shaking hands. If shaking hands and carrying a beverage plus a plate of food is challenging for you, do one thing at a time. Remember your purpose is not to bulk up, it’s to meet new people.

Subway etiquette

2010-05-13T11:30:00.000-07:00

Be courteous when traveling on the subway. Allow those passengers that have been waiting the longest to enter first. Allow those passengers exiting the train to get off before you try to get on. Don’t take an extra seat with your backpack or packages. Do not subject others to the smell of your messy burger with fried onions or the crunching of your natcho’s. Offer a seat to an elderly, pregnant or disabled person. It will surprise and delight them. Say excuse me when passing in front of others. Practice good personal hygiene; shower regularly, brush your teeth and wear deodorant. Curb your phone calls and lower your voice in conversations. Don't talk or reach across people. Clean up after yourself! Dispose of trash or newspapers in the receptacles provided on the platforms. Treat staff with respect.

Kids are not invited

2010-05-12T11:24:00.000-07:00

Not every occasion is suitable for children to attend and for all concerned they might be happier with a baby sitter, a movie and a bowl of popcorn than an evening at your neighbor’s cocktail party. When sending out invitations to a casual gathering where children aren’t invited, rather than putting “no kids,” which is negative and suggests your guests’ children are not well mannered or “adults only,” which suggests the party might be of a restricted nature, say something more positive or playful. “Take a break from the kids and join us for cocktails and a BBQ around the pool Friday night…”

What should you do if a guest unexpectedly shows up with their children? In a nutshell, do the best you can. Bribe a teenager into helping you out at the last minute.

Respecting yourself and your work environment

2010-05-11T13:14:00.000-07:00

You show respect for yourself by taking care of your appearance and showing respect and consideration for others. But what about your workspace? Do you need to clean up your act? Your cubicle or office gives your colleagues and those around you an impression of how professional and reliable you are. It should be kept clean and uncluttered with documents filed in their proper places. If your area is a mess, others may question the quality of your work. When you decide to clean up your act, do it after work or on a weekend so as not to disturb your co-workers.

Good Manners

2010-05-10T11:40:00.000-07:00

Do you wonder what is so important about good manners? Believe it or not, good manners will make your life easier. Friends, parents and other adults will appreciate you even more than they already do.

Good manners help you feel more comfortable in situations where you may not know how to behave or you feel awkward or embarrassed.

Good manners teach you how to behave so that you know what to do when situations arise. It is always better to know and not need it, than to need it and not know it.

Good manners are a code to behavior. You learn the code and use it in all situations throughout your life. When you aren’t sure what to do in a situation, if you err on the side of kindness you are never wrong.

Thank you cards

2010-05-07T11:36:00.000-07:00

In our high tech low touch world, people respond to a personal note differently than to other means of communication. Taking a few minutes of your time to write a hand written thank you note rather than a phone call or e-mail makes a high impact connection with another person and distinguishes you from others.
Send a thank you:
• when you’ve received a gift from someone
• when you’ve stayed overnight in someone’s home
• when you’ve received a special favour or kindness from someone
• when you’ve been a dinner guest or party guest
• when someone has hosted a special party for you
• when you want to show appreciation
Rather than start with “Thank you,” mention the thoughtfulness of the giver, name the gift, say something nice about it, use a nice closing and sign your name.

Office Nuisances - Every office has them.Are you one?

2010-05-06T11:10:00.000-07:00

Prairie Dog—pops up over the cubicle divider- Can I borrow your stapler? Wanna have lunch? What time is it?

Hallway Schmoozer – holds meetings and social gatherings in the hallway

Free Luncher- steals others’ lunch from the fridge

Decorating Diva- brings in all her knick-knacks, trophies from high school, half dead plants to decorate the office

Desktop Diner- eats at the desk--smell, noise, spills, germs. Even those who do it, think it is unprofessional

Chatty Kathy - the office gossip – sometimes preys on new employees -toxic

Desk top Model—does her makeup and grooming at her desk. She says, ”Why do it at home when I can be paid to do it at work?”

Workus Interruptus- stops to chat for nothing, picks up your mail, reads your screen

Nosey Parker

2010-05-05T12:11:00.000-07:00

“Is that watch a fake?” “What did you pay for that?” These obnoxious questions are the realm of the Nosey Parker, who for no good reason feels entitled to ask inappropriate questions. We all know a Nosey Parker, maybe he’s a co-worker, friend, or maybe…it’s you. People are sometimes just thoughtless, not necessarily ill intentioned or cruel, just curious. Because of media speculation about people, politicians and celebrities, we feel entitled to know everything about everyone.
What is the best way to respond inappropriate questions about your personal life? Say, "Why do you ask?" or "I am uncomfortable with your question."
Before you ask a nosey question, ask yourself, “Is this something I need to know and why?” Is this something you’d want someone to ask you? If it makes you uncomfortable, then bite your tongue.

Your Body Language

2010-05-04T12:05:00.000-07:00

Your body language is how you carry yourself including your posture, body position, gestures and facial expressions. Does how you carry yourself really make a difference? Of course it does. If I stand with my head hanging down, my shoulders slumped forward my arms crossed and say I am happy to meet you, do you believe me? If I come into your office for an interview and I sit slumped in the chair holding my head in my hands without making eye contact, would you want to hire me? Mannerism to avoid:

Playing with hair.
Picking at or biting fingernails.
Tapping feet or jiggling legs.
Applying makeup or nail polish in public.
Picking teeth.
Cracking knuckles
Fidgeting.
Yawning.
Clicking pens.
Chewing gum.

Conversation skills

2010-05-03T12:43:00.000-07:00

Small talk is an important part of establishing rapport and is the beginning of the development and nourishment of a bond. By improving your conversation skills you enhance your leadership skills, boost your confidence in social situations and develop new friendships.

• Smile, make eye contact use open body language.
• Be first to say hello, give your name and introduce yourself.
• Find approachable people or people standing alone and start the conversation.
• Seek common interests with people; be enthusiastic.
• Be able to speak on a variety of topics.
• Use Ice-breakers -“How do you two know each other?” or “What brings you here?”
• Make an effort to remember people’s names.
• Ask a person’s name if you have forgotten it.
• Use open ended questions Who How What Why When Where?

2010-05-01T17:17:00.000-07:00

With Mother’s Day and Father’s Day coming up, questions about gift giving arise for divorced parents with young children. Should the parent buy a gift for the X on behalf of the child or just forget the whole thing? When a child is too young to buy a gift themselves, the parent should buy a gift on behalf of the child… but, part of the process should be that the child accompanies the parent or step parent and participates in choosing the gift. Often the parent just wants to get it over with so buys a gift and says, “I bought this for you to give to your mom.” That doesn’t teach a child about thoughtfulness, unselfishness and consideration for others. Taking the child to purchase a gift presents an opportunity to talk about the other parents interests, likes and dislikes and to bond during conversation. It also demonstrates that although the child’s parents are divorced they continue to respect each other and share their love of the child. It’s a valuable lesson.